5 Symptoms That Exam Period Has Driven You Insane

Unfortunately it's that time of the year again, folks.
The time when you have to basically teach yourself all the things you should have taken in twelve weeks ago.

I don't know about you, but I for one am going slightly insane. But not just any old kind of insane, that delirious state I like to call 'Exam-ity'.
My level of procrastination reaching such extremes that I am writing this article when I have an exam in two days. But I feel as though if I'm not going to be working I may as well do something productive and make some other poor students feel a little less alone in these dark times.

So here are the top 5 symptoms of Exam-ity:

1) Staring at the floor, the wall, the ceiling for extended periods of time.

This has become somewhat a sport for me lately; just like a cat can find a way to sit anywhere, I can stare at just about anything (Oh, except my revision notes..) for long stretches of time. Not only this, I can actually empty my brain of everything and induce a sort of semi-coma whereby I can avoid thinking a single thought for about 20 minutes! BRILLIANT! To be honest I'm not sure if this is impressive or slightly worrying.

2) Obsessive Social Media Checks

Don't get me wrong, I like a cheeky nose on my Instagram and Twitter as much as the next guy, but during revision period it literally becomes like a nervous tick.
I don't even LIKE Facebook; it's full of bullshit videos and poorly written status' by people I'm not remotely interested in.
Yet here I am, refreshing my news feed as if I'm about to be informed of life changing-news. Needless to say, it hasn't come yet.

3) Being Unable to eat anything of Nutritional Value

The days of being home for Easter break where you ate real meals, of real food, around a real table are a far cry from today. 
The fridge lies remarkably empty, there isn't a clean bowl in the cupboard and there are about 49 takeaway boxes and wrappers in your room. 
I'm probably not the only girl right now who is desperately trying to eat healthy ready to debut a killer Summer bod. However, I'm SURE I'm not the only one inhaling cookies and Dominos by the dozen, either.
In fairness, people need food for brain power.
And chocolate IS technically food.
So according to my calculations, the more chocolate I eat, the more of a genius I am, right?
Therefore: Poptarts for dinner is a-okay, guys. Don't question the logic.

3) Reaching obscure (and slightly scary) corners of the Internet 

This symptom is usually accompanied by a sneaking suspicion that you may have amnesia, as you have no idea how you got there.

There I was, minding my own business with a little innocent procrastination. All I did was click a Facebook link to find out which Teletubby I am, and somehow a flurry of clicks later I'm snorting with laughter over reviews of Sugar Free Haribo Gummy Bears that gave a load of people the shits. 
How did this happen? Why is it getting light outside? Is this real life?
Nevertheless, as weird as this behaviour is, it can be very educational! I now know that too many sugar-free sweets can act as a laxative. I also know that me and Lala the Teletubby would be best friends in a parallel universe where Teletubbys exist....

4) Overwhelming cravings for To Do Lists

These little beauties are every procrastinator's secret weapon. Not only can you continue to do nothing, but you can also trick your brain into believing that you are being productive. Genius.
They seem like SUCH a great idea at the time. You're all like "yeaaaaah look at me gettin' my shit together. GOD I'm mature." 
Alas, two weeks later the list has grown exponentially with little ticked off. 
And that's when you realise: I've definitely spent more time making 'To Do' lists than I have actually doing any of these things. Oh.

5) Ambition shriveling and dying faster than the friendship of a porcupine and a balloon

Think back, if you can, to the beginning of your degree. Life was bright, promising; a First-Class Honours seemed within your grasp
Fast forward to today: The pitiful creature that you became is sat in her dimly lit pit of a room using her iPhone calculator to figure out how much she needs on these exams to stay on a 2:1.
"Learning every topic" soon becomes "Learn half the topics" which spirals into "Learn two topics and pray that a higher power takes pity on your sad, lazy soul".
Top Top: when you find yourself Googling the salaries of Bin Men, that's when you know you've hit rock bottom.
Hey, at least it can't get any worse :) 



Wishing anyone with exams the very best!
Just think of Summer.
C'yaaaa,
Lucy xx